How missing toenails due to EB didn’t ruin my second date

Have any of you ever had to share a “fun fact” about yourself following the awkward icebreaker prompt? I’ll go first this time. I don’t have toenails. Loss of toenails is one of my most loathed physical symptoms of epidermolysis bullosa (EB). This anatomical difference has caused me a lot of grief, insecurity, and stress.

I’ve spent a significant amount of time during my teen and adult years trying to fix this problem. My most practical attempt was purchasing glue-on plastic toenails, which are available at most big-box stores. These glue-on toenails are made to stick to real toenails, but I’ve glued them straight to my skin on countless occasions, despite it being neither effective nor pleasant.

In the days leading up to my first date with my husband, Travis, back in 2009, I didn’t make the effort to conceal my weird toes. It was June, and I wore a plaid sundress with strappy sandals. Looking back, I’m proud of teenage me for not letting my lack of toenails dictate my outfit that day.

Interestingly, I think I’ve become more insecure about my feet over the years. I fret about my toenails most often during the summer when sandals are acceptable daily attire.

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Given the fact that it was our first date, I wasn’t aware at the time of Travis’ keen observation skills. After the date, I was convinced he hadn’t even noticed my feet. After all, he didn’t say anything. I think teenagers today would describe our date as “Netflix and chill.” We were young and broke and had nothing better to do than hang out in the basement watching movies.

Prior to our next date, I was sure to glue on those fake plastic toenails. Despite knowing that my skin reacts horribly to the glue and that I would ultimately cause myself severe itching and skin breakdown, I wanted to look good and feel good. I really liked him, and I was nervous about my feet.

‘Did those toes have toenails yesterday?’

I showed up to Travis’ house the next day in my sandals, feeling confident, probably flipping my hair, and giggling like a typical smitten teen. Travis took one look at me and said, “Did those toes have toenails yesterday?” The answer was obviously no, they didn’t. I fessed up; there was no covering it up. He most certainly noticed my lack of toenails on our first date.

Travis’ inquiry came from a place of confusion and shock at the magically appearing toenails. He was mystified. I proceeded to sheepishly explain how I’ve lost my toenails due to symptoms of EB. I shared that the condition is genetic, and that if he met my family he’d notice their missing nails as well. Travis quickly accepted this explanation. He didn’t care at all.

Travis continues to be my biggest supporter when it comes to life with EB. He validates all of my feelings of insecurity and insists that it’s OK to have missing nails, scars, and blisters. He is very nonchalant about the whole thing, which I find soothing. Until now, Travis and my sisters were the only people with whom I openly discussed EB.

I hope that everyone with EB who is currently dating gets as blissfully lucky as I did. I want to encourage people with rare diseases to be vulnerable in their journey to find someone who accepts them.

Note: Epidermolysis Bullosa News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Epidermolysis Bullosa News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to epidermolysis bullosa.